Regions Bank... or any bank for that matter

Stick with me for a second, because there are a few gay numbers I have to go over in order to get my thoughts in line....

So, I bank with Regions, but I don't think they are the problem, I think banks in general are the problem. I won't give me exact numbers, but let's start with an example of my exact situation:

Let's say I have $10 in my account on Friday afternoon. On Saturday, I buy 4 items (in the order listed) totaling $19. The items are as follows:

1 jar of catfood for $1
1 bag of chips for $3
1 pair of shoes for $4 (I am cheap haha!)
1 video game for $11

Now, Regions has an overcharge limit of $35 (if you don't have a savings account linked, which I just realized that I do not... $10 if it is linked). If I buy the items I listed, in the order they are listed, what do you think my overcharge fees should be? If you think 1+3+4 is 8, you would be correct. If you also think that $10 - $8 is $2, you would also be right. If your next thought is that my final purchase of $11 would propel my over my $10 limit, causing a penalty of $35, well, you would be WRONG!!!

As it turns out, banks are pieces of shit. Why? Because they hold days' worth of data (I have seen up to 3 days of my purchases go through in one day) to let it all clear at once. Well Mr. Banking men, that would be fine and dandy with Lance, except for one little caveat... you are all bastards who set it up to screw me over and make yourselves more and more rich. Let me explain:

The bank doesn't care what order I bought the items in... all they care about it getting their money. So, what they do, no matter what, is ALWAYS TAKE THE HIGHEST PRICED PURCHASE AND LET IT CLEAR FIRST!!! That means that they take the $11 video game, clear it, and make by balance go below $0, which charges me $35. THEN, they clear each additional item, one at a time, to charge me $35 three more times, bringing my grand total to $140!!!!

Therefore, I paid $159 for $19 worth of products, which honestly, I would have understood paying $54 for (It is absolutely MY responsibility to make sure I have sufficient funds).

So, how can I check my funds before purchasing? Well, Regions bank has a handy dandy Smartphone application for that :) Bravo Regions... but WAIT! Let's use it and see what happens:

There are two ledgers on a regions statement. Your Balance... and your Available balance! Balance = Everything that has cleared. Available balance = Everything that has cleared and the items that haven't (this is actually how much money you have). Guess what the applicatin they developed shows you? That's right... the balance. Guess what the application calls it? That's right... AVAILABLE BALANCE!!!!!!!!!

I thought I had the money BEFORE I used my card because of an application REGIONS DEVELOPED! They switched the names of their ledgers and cost me $105. Actually, $140, because I wouldn't have bought things without having the money to pay for them.

I hate banks. All of them. I hate their posting rules, their clearing rules, and the fact that when I call them, they blame the merger of some other bank or say "that's how everyone does it." Well, why doesn't one of them STEP UP and go against the grain for once. I know that would make me happy... and a happy Lance means no mean blogs about their shitty systems.

I also hate that I give the IRS an interest free loan each year. Did you know that you do as well? But, that is another blog for another day.

I hate banks.